September 29, 2012
I went on my first call the other night.  I LOVE my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for loving me first and knowing me better than I will ever know myself.  He is easing me into this.  He knows I want to help others. He knows that that is the way He made me, solely to serve Him be serving others.  Helping others is who I am, it's what I do BEST.  I am a Christian, a wife, a "mother", and an artist but above all I serve the Lord by serving others.  I hope that makes sense, I know what I mean but I'm getting tired now so it may not mean to others that may read this the way I intend it to sound.  Anyway, He knows what I mean. :-)
A part of me wishes I could have been able to be a part of the rescue/clean-up crew working at 9/11 but I know it was not meant for me to be there.  I think it may have been more devastating to my psyche than I think, so i trust in the Lord for where I am now.  I honestly would really like to have a part-no matter how small-in saving someone's life some day.  This part may sound bad but I mean it in a good way, to have a part in saving someone's life someday would mean to me that I accomplished a goal I had set for my self that I didn't really know I had set til lately.  I feel it growing closer.  Now I have helped to make several peoples lives better for them to live in in many ways; but to have someone's life in my hands...wow!  I don't wish harm or death to anyone, quite the opposite actually.  I really wish for everyone to be healthier and all around better.  Maybe that comes from watching loved ones and friends pass away one right after the other or from coming close to loosing my own but it feels me up whole to help others.  Don't know if I really want the other side of that coin-to loose someones life that you are trying to save-I think that would really damage me psyche.  Don't know, don't want to know.  :-)